Surprising Questions That Have Changed My Approach
"What was that like for you?"
I learned this from David Brook's new book - How To Know a Person.
Ask this question when someone brings up a topic that sounds like it was challenging for them i.e. argument with their partner, hearing a difficult news, remarking on a difficult day at work, challenges with their boss.
The question often enables the other person to open up and share how they feel about this challenging moment. This also allows you to empathize, rather than reflexively jump into problem-solving mode, which inadvertently overpowers their need to be understood.
"What results did I produce today?"
This is a question I try to ask at the end of every day. Many times, the answer will be blank. Other times, there will be a list of several items.
The reason this question is valuable is that it reframes the mind to think about what you produced rather than what you spent time on. Ultimately, the results you produce towards the direction of your goals is far more important than endless lists of low-yield tasks that we you may have kept yourself busy with.
This question forces you to contemplate: did I prioritize effectively? did I focus on the things that move the needle?
My answer isn't impressive on most days, but the process of asking myself this question allows me to calibrate my priorities and assess the output of each day.
"How am I supposed to do that?"
I discovered this one from Chris Voss's book - Never Split the Difference.
When someone asks you to do something that you don't feel inclined to, or would propose a challenge to you, the use of this question immediately invites the other person to think about how to solve this problem from your vantage point.
Let's say that your workplace superior asks you to deliver a project earlier than the pre-arranged deadline. Instead of saying "no" or finding a way to decline, which is likely to create friction, deploy this question.
Reflections